The Haunting of a Mother's Thoughts
by Blue-silhouette
Summary: Maddie reflects on her thoughts after learning her son's secret, and she finds these thoughts disturbing. This is designed to be a post-revelation fic, vague enough to fit with any revelation fic. Rated to be safe. Oh yeah, and I don't own Danny Phantom.


**A/N-I wrote this kind of quickly in one sitting. It's got quite a rambling feel to it, but I decided to leave it that way, as I believe this adds to the idea that this is a stream of consciousness. Also, I decided to have her subconsciously aware of the events of The Ultimate Enemy, even though it was in a different timeline.**

**Edit: Thanks jeanette9a for the suggestion to change the genre-it's now been done!**

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_"Of course, darling. I love you no matter what!"_

Those words came without a second thought. Danny is my son, and even though I know he has done so much to protect the town, this doesn't mean that everything is perfect now.

My instincts are clashing in a way that is so painful, it's almost unbearable. My son, my only son, is a ghost. As his mother, I still feel so much love. But he's a ghost. This means that either everything I've ever believed about ghosts is up for debate, or it's a clever ruse. Although I don't think it's the second, I can never be sure.

My boy must be good. I have no doubt about that. But what if his ghost side overpowers his human side? After all, the ghosts I have met have almost always been obsessed with some form of destruction. What if that happens to Danny? I'm terrified. In the back of my mind, there's an itch, saying that an evil Danny Phantom could easily crush us all. He's one of the strongest ghosts we've ever tracked, even when he holds back. "I don't use all my power-if I did, I'm afraid of the consequences." It sends a shiver down my spine. Is it right to allow a ghost with that much power to exist? Then again, there are people on Earth with that much power right now. What makes people so different? Is it our connections with other people? Danny's shown us nothing but loyalty.

But what if he stopped? I mean, we hunted him for so long. If he'd wanted to, he could have destroyed us. It's a sobering thought, that my own son was hiding such power. What is the scope of it? He mentioned a sound-based attack, a "ghostly wail" I think? He said the times he used it, it had caused such destruction that he still had nightmares. What if he cracked? What if something happened that caused him to give up his limitations?

Moreover, how do I care for him, when he's been caring for himself in such a big way? Is this going to affect him maturing into an adult? Wait a minute. If he's a ghost, does that even mean that he's still alive? Does this mean that, in a way, he's died? What parts of his humanity passed away? Do I need to enforce new rules because of this? Would I even be able to, really? I know now he sneaks out to fight ghosts almost every night. He would either not listen, or if he did, these ghosts would have free reign of the town.

It's like he's an entirely different person. Daniel James Fenton, the little baby boy I brought home from the hospital all those years ago, does he still exist? I'm finding it increasingly difficult to apply the name to the person. Was I a bad mother for not noticing, for not saving him? Jack is a wonderful man, but he's never been the one that prided himself on knowing his kids inside and out. Daniel's first steps were in the living room on a Wednesday night in December. His first word was "moon".

Danny always shot for the stars. He still wants to be an astronaut. Will his mutation keep that from becoming a reality? They test you for so many things to get into the space program. Or will his ghost powers keep him from reaching the academic goals? Or will he just become so busy that ghost hunting is all he does? If that's the case, Jack will be so proud. But that's never what Danny wanted to do. Sure, he was mostly supportive of us before the accident, but he never _wanted_ to go into ghost hunting. He just wanted to live a "normal" life.

This is the kind of thing mothers need therapy for. But there's no way I can just go to a therapist. "Yes, my son is dead, but he's also alive. I didn't know that, and I tried to kill him. Now I'm not trying to kill him, but how do I get through this?" There's no way there's a precedent for this. Jazz seems to have taken the entire situation in stride, calm as can be. Can I talk to her? If I do, will I be a failure as a parent? Really, am I already a failure? I don't know.

The sad thing is that these are not my thoughts an hour, a day, or a week since I learned my son's secret. It's been a month, and the same string of thoughts still run through my head every night as I lay awake in my bed. Next to me, Jack snores. "Get 'em Son!" He says in his dream, and kicks his foot the way he does, so much like a puppy. Jack's adjusted so well. Me, I'm haunted by these thoughts.

I look out my window. A streak of green flashes by the glass, and I briefly catch my son's ethereal image, off to fight some unknown spook. I know for now the town is safe, but is my mind? Tomorrow morning, I'll help him bandage his wounds, but not without scars to my own psyche. He's a hero for now, the least I can do is be strong for him. But when will my mind allow me a full night's sleep?

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**I'm not thrilled with this, but read and review? I'm considering posting a full story soon, one that I wrote a few months back and have actually edited quite a bit. I also have a bunch of plot bunnies to throw around if anybody wants to pick one up.**

**Thanks all! :D**


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